Last Sunday on my way to church I dropped my phone. Yes it’s a first world problem, but hear me out. This one ends differently, I promise.
I foolishly had my beloved device in my armpit. Don’t ask me why. But I’ll know never to do that again.
Yeah, you can guess what happened next. I waved to a friend. Within nano-seconds, my favourite hand-held device took a nose dive. And I heard the noise: the deafening sound of technology face-planting. There lay limp on the cement, my right hand man, my beloved iPhone6, suffered a broken screen.
Needless to say, the screen was shattered. And so was my heart. The first thought that came to mind was the monetary wastage that was to ensue. What I experienced next was the 5 stages of grief, condensed into a single breath. I pushed back the tears and swallowed the denial (“It can’t be happening! My phone is my life! The screen can’t be broken!), the anger (I was pretty upset at myself for utilizing my armpit as a phone-holder), the bargaining (actually nothing about an iPhone6 is a bargain), the sadness (tears were welling up fast), and finally, the reluctant acceptance.
“I’m so sorry…” I choked out (I always feel guilty wasting money). My dear husband put his arm around me and gently said “It’s ok honey, we’ll go get it fixed after church.”
Being a perfectionist, I was determined to get the phone fixed right away because I didn’t want to look at the shattered screen. I saw it with contempt. It was a constant reminder of my poor judgement and erroneous decision-making. A broken screen symbolized a broken life, in my view.
But as I mourned for the fractured face of my iPhone6, I suddenly had an epiphany.
I’m broken too. I’ve fallen so many times. I’m so imperfect. And yet, the Lord loves me. He loves me despite my failings and short-comings. So in that moment, my view of my phone completely changed. I no longer looked at with rejection and disappointment. I saw it as how God sees me- with love and compassion.
My phone screen is still broken, but I’m at peace with that. It serves as the perfect reminder of how much God adores me despite my brokenness.